Looking for the funniest and most updated duck jokes to brighten your day? 🦆 You’ve just waddled into the right place!
From corny one-liners to clean family-friendly laughs, this 2025 collection is packed with humor that never goes out of style.
Whether you’re sharing a quick giggle with friends, posting something lighthearted online, or just need a mood-lifter, these jokes are sure to fly high on the trend charts this year.
So get ready—because these 360+ trending duck jokes are about to make your day a whole lot funnier!
🧓 Buddy Hackett Duck Joke
- 🦆 A duck walks into a store and says, Got any grapes? Nope, just Buddy Hackett asking the same thing every day!
- 😂 Hackett’s duck says, You got any nails? No? Good, then fix my damn bill!
- 🪙 Duck: Put it on my bill. Hackett: You better have duck insurance!
- 🪤 Waiter: We don’t serve ducks. Duck: That’s okay, I brought my own punchline!
- 🧠 Hackett’s duck joke isn’t just funny—it’s the thinking man’s quack attack.
- 🎤 Duck walks in a bar, bartender says, You’re the punchline, aren’t you?
- 💡 The genius of Hackett’s duck: it’s never about the duck—it’s about you realizing you’re the duck!
- 🐾 Hackett’s duck goes to war… with expectations. And wins.
- 🤯 Duck says, I’m a metaphor, baby. Hackett just smirks.
- 😆 The duck’s voice alone had audiences rolling—Hackett knew how to quack up a room.
- 🕰️ Duck joke so timeless, it’s in comedy heaven, doing stand-up.
- 🔁 Duck: Knock knock. Who’s there? Grapes. Again?!
- 🗣️ Hackett’s delivery: part duck, part demon, all comedy gold.
- 🧃 Duck: Got any juice? Bartender: Just laughs, Hackett-style.
- 👴 Hackett’s duck would’ve gotten an HBO special today. That’s how legendary it is.
✝️ Two Priests a Rabbi and a Duck Joke
- ⛪ Two priests and a rabbi walk into a bar. Duck says, This a setup or are you guys just lost?
- 🦆 Duck: I’m here for the confession. Priest: You sin? Duck: I pecked a goose.
- 😂 Rabbi: What’s a duck doing here? Duck: I heard there’d be bread.
- 🍷 Priest offers wine. Duck asks, Got any pond water?
- 🤝 Duck converts halfway through the joke. Ecumenical quackery!
- 📿 Duck: Baptize me in breadcrumbs!
- 💬 The punchline? The duck’s the only one who walks out sober.
- 🎯 Duck: I don’t pick sides—I peck them.
- 🛐 Duck meditates while the holy men argue over theology.
- 🔥 Rabbi: What do you believe? Duck: Bread is eternal.
- 🙏 Priest: Let us pray. Duck: For rain?
- 😂 The rabbi laughs first. The duck bows. Classic.
- 🕊️ The duck is the peacekeeper and the punchline.
- 📘 Rabbi quotes scripture. Duck quotes Looney Tunes.
- 🎩 The duck officiates their roast. Everyone gets burned—spiritually.
🐤 Donald Duck Joke
- 🗯️ Donald walks into a bar and quacks, Where’s my pants?!
- 🤬 Donald stubs his toe. Kids learn five new curse words.
- 📺 Donald’s therapist quit. Couldn’t understand a word he said.
- 🐧 Donald tried to date a penguin once—turned out too cold.
- 🦷 Why doesn’t Donald have teeth? So his tantrums are safer!
- 🎩 Donald in therapy: I feel under-Mickey’d.
- 🐾 Donald: I’m not angry. I’m just drawn that way.
- 🚪 Donald got locked out. Daisy said, No pants, no entry.
- 💢 Donald’s rage makes the Hulk look like yoga class.
- 🗣️ No one understands Donald. That’s the real Disney tragedy.
- 🍗 Donald met KFC—ran for his life!
- 😡 Donald’s life motto: Quack first, ask later.
- 🎮 Donald in a video game? Rage quit every level.
- 🐥 Donald’s parenting tip: Scream louder than your kids.
- 🧠 Donald’s temper? 10% duck, 90% explosion.
😂 Tell Me a Duck Joke
- 🦆 Why do ducks never grow up? Because they always wing it!
- 📚 What’s a duck’s favorite subject? Eggonomics.
- 🎵 Why do ducks sing in the shower? Because they’re natural quackstars!
- 🎂 What do you call a duck on its birthday? A party quacker!
- 👟 Why did the duck wear sneakers? To avoid web traffic.
- 📏 How tall is a duck? Tall enough to crack you up.
- 🐔 What do you get when you cross a duck and a chicken? Quacked up nuggets.
- 🎤 What do ducks do after a breakup? Write quackballads.
- ☎️ What did the duck say to the telemarketer? Put it on my bill!
- 🏠 Why did the duck move out? Too many fowl roommates.
- 💼 Duck’s first job? Quacker at a call center.
- 🕶️ Coolest duck ever? One who never breaks beak-face.
- 🍞 Why did the duck cross the road? Because the breadcrumbs were better on the other side!
- 🛁 What do ducks do in the bathtub? Practice for pond day.
- 🌧️ Ducks love rain—nature’s comedy club.
🤣 Funny Duck Joke
- 🦆 What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker!
- 🍕 Why don’t ducks share pizza? They’re afraid of getting a slice bill.
- 🚫 What did the duck say after it finished reading? Quack that ending!
- 📬 Why are ducks bad at emails? They keep clicking “quack” instead of “back.”
- 🧼 Ducks hate dirty jokes—they prefer clean bill humor.
- 🛒 Duck in Walmart: Got any pond filters on sale?
- 💼 Why did the duck get fired? He couldn’t stop quacking up during meetings.
- 📸 Duck selfie: #noFilter #allFeathers
- 🧃 Ducks only drink iced pond latte. Anything else is beneath them.
- 📅 Duck’s planner: Swim. Nap. Peck. Repeat.
- 🎭 Why don’t ducks act? They break beak character.
- 🔍 Duck’s favorite show? Law & Order: Pond Unit
- 🧢 Cool duck wears sunglasses and waddles like he owns the sidewalk.
- 🧳 Duck packed one bag: full of puns.
- 📖 Duck reads jokes before bed. Dreams in laughter.
🧒 Duck Joke for Kids
- 🦆 What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A fire-quacker!
- 🍭 Why did the duck go to school? To learn how to quack-ulate.
- 🎈 What game do ducks play at parties? Duck-duck-laugh!
- 🧸 Why was the duck so cuddly? Because he was down inside.
- 🍪 What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Cheese and quackers!
- 🏫 Duck’s report card: Straight A’s in Pond Studies!
- 🧙 Why don’t ducks do magic? They’d just quack the wand.
- 🎡 Where do ducks go for fun? The feather fair!
- 🌞 What’s a duck’s favorite weather? Anything with puddles!
- 📣 What do ducks shout at games? Let’s get quacking!
- 🧃 What’s a duck’s drink of choice? Quackberry juice!
- 🎒 What’s in a duck’s backpack? Snacks and silly jokes!
- 🧩 What’s a duck’s puzzle skill? Feather-fast!
- 🧽 Duck’s chore: Scrub the pond!
- 🪁 Why did the duck fly a kite? Just winging it!
🗯️ Tell Us a Duck Joke
- 🦆 Why did the duck write a joke book? To spread the quack-up.
- 📖 What’s a duck’s autobiography called? Born to Waddle.
- 📞 Why did the duck call the comedian? To ask for punchlines on demand.
- 🤐 Why are duck jokes never secret? They’re too loud to keep quiet.
- 🐣 What do you call a baby duck comedian? A quackling!
- 💌 What did the duck write in a love letter? You make my heart go quack!
- 🎁 Duck gave a gift: Wrapped in feathers and laughter.
- 🛋️ Where do ducks tell jokes? On their quack couch.
- 🧠 What’s a duck’s IQ? Just enough to make a joke fly.
- 📺 Ducks watch stand-up pond-up comedy.
- 💬 Duck puns are bill-iantly funny.
- 🗺️ Where do duck jokes travel best? Across social media ponds.
- 🎮 What’s a duck’s favorite game? Quack-a-mole.
- 🧼 Duck’s stand-up is clean—just like its feathers.
- 🎓 Ducks graduate with a degree in laughter!
💸 A Buck for a Duck Joke
- 💵 Guy walks in: Got a duck for a buck? Nope, just a joke for free!
- 🦆 How much is a laugh? A buck a quack.
- 💰 A buck per duck? Better than a goose deal.
- 🪙 Why did the duck charge a dollar? To pay off the pond mortgage.
- 🎯 One duck = one joke. Priceless.
- 💳 Duck: Swipe or quacktap?
- 🛍️ Sale! Buy one duck, get a joke free!
- 🐤 Why’d the duck open a store? Quacks & Bucks, Inc.
- 🎫 Ticket to laugh: One dollar, please.
- 🧮 Duck’s math: One bill = endless laughs.
- 🧾 Duck receipt: Total—$1, Tax—0, Value—Unlimited.
- 🛒 What’s worth a buck? A duck with comedy chops.
- 🪙 Toss a coin to your duck, O jokeful of pond.
- 💸 If you had a buck for every duck joke—you’d be a millionaire!
- 🤣 Joke’s on us: still free!
🦆 Conclusion
Duck jokes are the comedy equivalent of a splash in a sunny pond—refreshing, simple, and always good for the soul.
Whether you’re a lifelong fan of Buddy Hackett’s legendary routines or just want a goofy giggle with the kids, these quacky quips never go out of style.
Dive in anytime for a laugh that’s always feather-light and wildly amusing.
