Halloween 2025 is creeping up faster than a ghost on roller skates 👻—and this year, it’s not just about the costumes and candy.
It’s about bringing the boos and LOLz with 500+ spine-tinglingly funny, flirty, and cheesy Halloween jokes that will slay at any party, text thread, or Instagram caption.
If you’re looking to impress your crush, roast your best ghoul-friend, or just keep the pumpkin spice vibes alive, this ultimate joke collection is your trick and treat.
Dive in… if you dare. 🎃💀
👻 Halloween Joke for Kids
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? 🦴 He had no body to go with
- What do you call a witch at the beach? 🧙♀️ A sand-witch
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? 🧻 They’re afraid they’ll unwind
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? 🧛♂️ A blood orange
- Why don’t ghosts like rain? ☔ Because it dampens their spirits
- Why did the zombie skip school? 🧠 He felt rotten
- What does a ghost use to wash its hair? 🧼 Shamboo
- What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? 🧹 Broommates
- Why do vampires always seem sick? 🤒 Because they’re always coffin
- What room does a ghost not need? 🚪 A living room
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? 😂 Tickle its funny bone
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? ❄️ Frostbite
- Why did the ghost go to therapy? 💬 He had too many haunting memories
- What do witches put on their bagels? 🥯 Scream cheese
- Why did the werewolf stay out of the sun? 🌞 He didn’t want to turn into a hot dog
🧛 Halloween Joke of the Day
- What’s a ghost’s favorite exercise? 🏋️ Deadlifts
- Why did Dracula get a job at the blood bank? 💉 He always knew his type
- Why don’t werewolves use cell phones? 📱 They’re afraid of roaming charges
- How do you know a vampire has a cold? 🤧 He starts coffin
- Why don’t ghosts lie? 🙊 Because you can see right through them
- What do mummies listen to on Halloween? 🎵 Wrap music
- Why was the pumpkin so mean? 🎃 It had a seedy personality
- Why didn’t the skeleton fight? 🦴 He didn’t have the guts
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? 🍦 Boo-berry pie
- Why did the witch bring a ladder to the bar? 🍸 She heard the drinks were on the house
- How does Frankenstein pay for stuff? 💳 With monster credit
- What’s a zombie’s least favorite room? 🛁 The living room
- Why do ghouls like parties? 🥳 Because they’re always dying to have fun
- What do you call a Halloween monster who’s great at math? ➕ Count Dracula
- Why was the cemetery so noisy? 📢 Because of all the coffin
🎃 Kids Halloween Joke
- What do you call a ghost’s true love? 💘 His ghoul-friend
- Why did the bat miss school? 🦇 He was hungover… upside down
- What do you call a scary cow? 👻 Moo-dusa
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? 🐕 A bloodhound
- Why don’t skeletons play football? 🏈 They might get crushed
- What kind of pants do ghosts wear? 👖 Boo jeans
- Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid? 😱 He saw the carving knife
- What’s a monster’s favorite snack? 🍪 Ghoul Scout cookies
- Why did the vampire flunk art class? 🎨 He could only draw blood
- What did the ghost say to his friend? 👋 Long time no see-through
- What do goblins eat on Halloween? 🍬 Anything they can gobble-in
- Why do mummies make terrible burglars? 🧻 They always get wrapped up in their work
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? 📚 Spelling
- Why was the skeleton always calm? 😌 Nothing gets under his skin
- How do you write a book about Halloween? 📝 With a ghostwriter
😂 Funny Halloween Joke
- Why did the ghost join the band? 🥁 He had great spirit
- What do you call a fat pumpkin? 🎃 A plumpkin
- Why do mummies love holidays? 🧳 They enjoy getting wrapped up in the moment
- What do ghosts serve for dessert? 🍰 Ice scream
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? 🧹 The grim sweeper
- Why was Dracula always invited to parties? 🧛♂️ He was a pain in the neck, but a fun one
- What’s a bat’s favorite game? 🕹️ Hide and shriek
- Why was the monster’s report card wet? 💧 It was below C-level
- What did one ghost say to the other? 👂 Do you believe in people?
- What’s Frankenstein’s favorite drink? 🧃 Monster-ade
- Why did the haunted house fail? 🏚️ Because it had no ghost appeal
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? 💥 Squash
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? 🎷 The trom-bone
- What’s a zombie’s go-to workout? 🏃 Deadlifts
- Why don’t monsters eat clowns? 🤡 Because they taste funny
🗣️ Tell Me a Halloween Joke
- What did the ghost say when he found out he was adopted? 👻 Boo-hoo
- What do witches ask for at hotels? 🏨 Broom service
- Why was the vampire embarrassed? 😳 He saw his own neck-ed photo
- How do skeletons call their friends? ☎️ On the tele-bone
- Why was the ghost fired? 💼 He was too transparent
- What’s a ghoul’s favorite color? 💜 Boo
- What happens to witches who break the law? 🧹 They get broomed
- What do you call a lazy skeleton? 🛋️ Bone idle
- Why do zombies never get speeding tickets? 🚓 They drive dead slow
- What do haunted chickens lay? 🥚 Deviled eggs
- Why was the witch bad at baseball? ⚾ Her broom kept getting in the way
- What’s a ghost’s favorite flower? 🌸 Marigold
- What did Dracula say to his date? 🧛♂️ You’re just my type
- What’s a werewolf’s favorite holiday? 🐺 Howl-oween
- Why do ghosts hate rain? 🌧️ It dampens their spirits
🏆 Best Halloween Joke
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? 📰 He heard it had great circulation
- What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes? 🎤 A punny bone
- Why did the witch win Employee of the Month? 🧙 She swept away the competition
- What do zombies eat for breakfast? 🥣 Brain flakes
- Why did the jack-o’-lantern cross the road? 🚶♂️ To get to the other patch
- Why was the ghoul always picked last in gym? 🧟 He had no guts
- What did one vampire say to another on Halloween? 🍬 Let’s paint the town red
- Why do werewolves do well in school? 📚 They’re all about howlwork
- What does a ghost wear when it rains? ☔ A spirit jacket
- Why was the cemetery so crowded? 🪦 People were dying to get in
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite thing? 🍽️ Meals with no bones
- What do mummies do at parties? 💃 Wrap battle
- Why did the vampire get detention? 🧛 He was caught necking in the hallway
- What do ghosts do when they’re bored? 🧩 They play boo-ard games
- What’s Frankenstein’s favorite instrument? 🎸 The organ
😈 Dirty Halloween Joke
- Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? 🧛 She wasn’t into necking anymore
- What’s a ghost’s favorite position? 👻 Boo-doggy style
- Why do witches ride broomsticks? 🧹 Because vacuuming sucks
- What’s Dracula’s dating advice? 💋 Go straight for the neck
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a one-night stand? 🛏️ A pain in the neck
- Why did the zombie get kicked out of the strip club? 💸 He kept trying to eat the dancers
- How do mummies flirt? 😏 They get all wrapped up in you
- What’s a ghost’s pickup line? 🗨️ I can see right through you… and I like what I see
- What happens in a haunted bedroom? 🛌 Moaning and groaning
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite adult film? 📼 Bone Alone
- Why was the witch blushing? 🧙 She saw the broomstick in the shower
- How does Dracula like his lovers? ❤️ Bloodthirsty
- What do ghouls say after a wild night? 😅 I’m dead tired
- Why don’t monsters use Tinder? 📱 Too many creepers
- What’s Frankenstein’s safe word? 🚫 Shock me
🎬 Conclusion
If you’re entertaining kids, cracking up your friends, or sneaking in some adult humor, Halloween jokes are the perfect treat—no tricks necessary!
Bookmark this for October, and get ready to be the life (or afterlife) of any spooky gathering.
