Joke Book; 440+ Clean, Funny & Family-Friendly Jokes For 2025

Looking for the best clean, funny, and family-friendly jokes for 2025? You’ve just found the ultimate collection!

In a world where laughter never goes out of style, having a go-to list of hilarious, wholesome jokes is a must.

Whether you’re entertaining kids at home, breaking the ice at work, or simply in need of a quick pick-me-up, this joke book is packed with 440+ fresh and trending laughs that are perfect for every age.

Get ready to brighten your day and share smiles with jokes that are safe, witty, and guaranteed to spark joy in 2025!

Kill Tony Joke Book 🤘🎤

You know you’re bombing when the mic starts sweating before you do 😅
I told my therapist I wanted to do stand-up—he stood up and left 🚪
My dating life is like my set—full of awkward pauses and forced laughs 😂
I’m the kind of comedian who kills… the mood 🪦
Tony said I had stage presence—I think he meant I presently need to get off stage ⌛
My punchlines are like my ex—unreliable and never land right 😬
I tried writing a clean joke… turns out my thoughts are filthy 🧼
Open mic night? More like public therapy with worse lighting 💡
I once bombed so hard, TSA wanted to search me afterwards ✈️
My voice cracks more than my audience’s smiles 😐
The only thing tighter than my jokes is my jeans from 2007 👖
I bring dad energy without the dad jokes or the kids 👨
My comedy career peaked when my mom laughed out of pity 🥲
They say timing is everything—too bad I’m always late 🕒
If laughter is the best medicine, my set’s a sugar pill 🍬

Dad Joke Book 👨‍👧‍👦🧢

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up 🥚
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down 📘
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet—I don’t know y 🤷
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies 🧼
I used to play piano by ear—now I use my hands 🎹
How do you organize a space party? You planet 🪐
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go 🎈
I’m on a seafood diet—I see food and I eat it 🐟
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory 🏭
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field 🌾
Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it 🛠️
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work 🐄
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon—I’ll let you know 🐔
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese 🧀
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high—she looked surprised 😲

Minecraft Joke Book ⛏️🧱

Why did the Creeper break up with his girlfriend? He was explosive 💥
What do you call a Minecraft celebration? A block party 🎉
I tried to build a joke in Minecraft—it collapsed under pressure 🏗️
Why are Endermen bad at jokes? They always disappear before the punchline 👀
I told a skeleton a joke—he cracked up 💀
Why did Steve go broke? He mined his own business too much ⛏️
What’s a Ghast’s favorite music? Soul 🎵
How do Minecraft players stay in shape? They do block-ups 🧱
Why did the pig become an actor? It was born to ham it up 🐷
What’s a zombie’s favorite type of pasta? Brainsghetti 🍝
I built a joke with redstone—timing was off, just like my sense of humor 🔴
Why don’t villagers tell jokes? Their trades are already laughable 😐
What does Steve use to write? A block pen ✒️
How do you make a Minecraft cake joke? Layer it well 🍰
I tried to prank a Creeper—but he blew the punchline 💣

Kill Tony Joke Book for Sale 💸📕

Selling my Kill Tony joke book—only slightly used, just like my dignity 😅
This joke book is cheaper than therapy and twice as uncomfortable 😬
Get your hands on these jokes—before Tony roasts me for giving them away 🔥
This book has more bombs than a war documentary 💣
Buy this and discover 101 ways to make a crowd mildly amused 😐
These jokes killed… mostly my self-esteem 🎭
Contains jokes banned from three open mics and counting 🚫
Like vintage wine—these jokes get worse with time 🍷
For sale: joke book with a warning label 📕
Tony said these jokes belong in a book—and never on stage again 📉
Includes bonus section: “How Not to Win Kill Tony” 📓
Free burn cream included with every purchase 🔥
Comes with a side of audience disappointment 🪑
Each copy signed with regret 🖋️
Satisfaction not guaranteed, but cringes are! 😬

Kill Tony Big Joke Book 🧠🔥

My ego’s big enough to fit in this book—and so are my flops 🧠
It’s called “Big” because “Bloated” was too honest 📚
These jokes went from bar napkins to bookshelf royalty 📜
The laughs are big—like my pauses after punchlines 😅
If size matters, this book overcompensates 📏
From open mic to overkill—15 cringe-worthy gems 💀
Tony called it “ambitious”—I think he meant “a mistake” 🧯
These jokes aged like milk left out at a gig 🥛
My biggest joke? Thinking this would sell 🪙
It’s so thick it doubles as a coaster for broken dreams ☕
Your audience won’t know what hit them—probably indifference 🎤
Comes with footnotes: What I meant was… 📖
Warning: reading may cause secondhand embarrassment 🚫
Too big to fail, too bad to enjoy 😬
A must-have for masochistic comedy fans 💔

Hawk Tuah Joke Book 🦅💦

Hawk tuah and spit on them haters 😤
You heard the girl—hawk tuah if he makes you giggle 😜
Why did she hawk tuah? Because he brought weak game 💁
Hawk tuah—because subtlety is dead 💀
That joke didn’t land? Hawk tuah on it and try again 💦
He whispered sweet nothings, she hawk tuahed in his face 😆
New love language: Words of affirmation and hawk tuah 💬
She hawk tuah-ed him straight out of her DMs 📤
If love is war, hawk tuah is the nuke 💣
He gave her flowers, she gave him hawk tuah 💐
Hawk tuah: when saying “no thanks” isn’t enough 🚫
Kiss or diss? Depends if she hawk tuahed before 💋
That’s not sass—it’s hawk tuah with a twist 🌀
They asked for honesty, she gave ‘em hawk tuah 🔥
If you didn’t hawk tuah at least once today, did you even vibe? 😏

Kids Joke Book 🧒😂

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing 🍅
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear 🐻
What’s brown and sticky? A stick 😆
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired 🚲
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it 🤧
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything ⚛️
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite ❄️
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer 🐂
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well 🍌
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot 🥕
How does the ocean say hello? It waves 🌊
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot 👃
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree 🌴
What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop 🥋
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake 🍰