985+ Valentine’s Day Jokes are here to make 2025 your funniest and flirtiest February yet!
Whether you’re looking to make your crush giggle, charm your date, or just roast love itself with some good old cheesy humor, this massive list has got your back.
From clean one-liners to flirty zingers and hilariously bad puns, these jokes will help you stand out on Valentine’s Day—because nothing says “I love you” like a perfectly timed punchline.
Let the laughter (and maybe a little romance) begin! 💘😂
Valentines Day Joke for Kids
- 🐝 What did the bee say to his Valentine? I love bee-ing with you
- 🍕 What did the slice of pizza say to the other? You’ve got a pizza my heart
- 🌭 What did the hot dog say to the bun? You make everything better
- 🐶 What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts
- 🍩 What did one donut say to the other? I donut know what I’d do without you
- 🦖 What did the dinosaur say to his crush? I dino what I’d do without you
- 🎵 Why did the music note get a Valentine? Because it was noteworthy
- 🐢 What did the turtle say to his date? I turtley love you
- 🌈 Why are ghosts such great Valentines? Because they’re so boo-tiful
- 🍌 What did one banana say to the other? I find you a-peeling
- 🧸 What do you write in a bear’s Valentine? I love you beary much
- 🧠 What did the brain say to the heart? You’ve got me thinking about love
- 💼 Why did the folder get a Valentine? Because it was filed with love
- 🎮 What did the controller say to the console? I’m totally in your game
- 🍭 What did the lollipop say? I’m stuck on you
Funny Valentines Day Joke
- 🐸 What did the frog say to his Valentine? You make me hoppy
- 🍟 Are you French fries? Because I’m loving you a whole lot
- 🎯 Why did Cupid get a job? He wanted to make a love target
- 📦 Why don’t Valentines ever get lost? They’re always delivered with love
- 🥸 Why did the skeleton go on a Valentine’s date? He had a heart-to-heart to find
- 🐔 What did the chicken give his sweetheart? A peck on the cheek
- 🧊 Are you made of ice cream? Because I melt every time you’re near
- 🎃 Why did the Valentine cross the road? To get to the punny side
- 🛠️ What did the hammer say to the nail? You’ve struck my heart
- 🥦 What do vegetables give each other? Heartichokes
- 🐠 What did the fish say to the other? I’m hooked on you
- 📚 What did the book say? I’m totally bound to love you
- 🔋 What did the battery say? I’m positive I love you
- 🎩 Why did the magician get dumped? His love disappeared
- 🍷 What did the wine say on Valentine’s Day? You had me at merlot
Valentines Day Joke Kids
- 🐷 Why did the pig give candy? Because he was hogging all the love
- 🐰 What did the bunny say? Some bunny loves you
- 🦄 Why did the unicorn get a Valentine? Because she was magical
- 🍫 Why is chocolate the best Valentine? It always melts hearts
- 🐵 What did the monkey say to his crush? I’m bananas for you
- 🐼 What do pandas write on Valentine’s Day? Bear hugs and kisses
- 🦁 Why did the lion fall in love? He found his purr-fect match
- 🍉 What did the watermelon say? You’re one in a melon
- 🚀 Why did the astronaut get a Valentine? He needed space… for love
- 🐘 What did the elephant say? I love you tons
- 🧦 What did the sock say to the foot? I’m totally your sole-mate
- 🧃 What did the juice box say? You’re my main squeeze
- 🧁 Why did the cupcake blush? It saw the icing of love
- 🛸 Why are aliens great dates? They’re out of this world
- 🔍 What did the magnifying glass say? I see love everywhere
Happy Valentines Day Joke
- 🧲 You must be a magnet because I’m attracted to you
- 🧑🚀 Are you an astronaut? Because my heart’s taking off
- 🦷 Are you a dentist? Because every time you smile, I feel sweet
- 🥏 Are you a frisbee? Because I keep coming back to you
- 🪀 Our love is like a yo-yo—it always returns
- 💡 You light up my life like no one else
- 🧹 Are you a broom? Because you swept me off my feet
- 🔥 Our love is fire—hot, wild, and occasionally alarming
- 🧪 Love is just chemistry, and we’ve got great reactions
- 🎈 You lift me up like a Valentine balloon
- 🧤 Are you a glove? Because we’re a perfect fit
- 💻 You’re the ctrl to my alt and delete all my sadness
- ⏰ Love you every second, even when I hit snooze
- 🛏️ You’re my dream come true—even when I’m awake
- 📸 Every time I see you, I snap—into happiness
Valentines Day Joke Cards
- 💘 You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it
- 📬 Cupid called, he said I’m your delivery
- 💌 This card comes with unlimited hugs and kisses
- 🎁 You’re the best gift that never came wrapped
- 💿 Are you a CD? Because my heart skips every time
- 🖊️ This card’s not enough, but my love is
- ✉️ Sealed with a kiss and a corny joke
- 🔖 You’ve been bookmarked in my heart
- 📓 You’re the note I always want to reread
- 💳 You charge up my heart without a credit limit
- 🖼️ You frame my world
- 🔐 This card holds my heart—handle with care
- 🗓️ Valentine’s Day is one day—loving you is forever
- 💣 Boom! Instant love explosion
- 🎨 Love you more than glitter and glue
Valentines Day Joke of the Day
- 🍔 Are you a burger? Because I’m falling apart for you
- 🐷 I’d share my bacon with you—true love
- 🧠 My heart said yes before my brain caught up
- 🍳 You’re eggs-actly who I want
- 🪩 You spin my heart like a disco ball
- 🧻 You’re like toilet paper—can’t live without you
- 🍕 I’d fight for the last slice with you
- 🐢 Slow and steady wins your heart
- 🚪 You opened the door to love and I walked in
- 🧊 You cool me down and heat me up
- 🎀 You’re tied to my heart
- 🎤 Mic drop—you’re mine
- 🌪️ You blew me away like a love storm
- 📀 We’re the perfect track—love on repeat
- 🪫 Without you, I’m running low
Corny Valentines Day Joke
- 🧀 Are you cheese? Because I’m nacho average lover
- 🌽 Are you corn? Because you’re amaize-ing
- 🧦 Are we socks? Because we’re lost without each other
- 🍜 You’ve noodle-d your way into my heart
- 📦 You’re my complete package—even with bubble wrap
- 🧻 I’m stuck on you like TP in a windstorm
- 🪁 You lift me up like a gusty kite day
- 🪤 You trapped my heart like a love mouse trap
- 🧃 You juice up my life
- 🍯 You’re sweet like honey but stickier
- 🧄 I’m garlic—strong and weird—but good for your heart
- 🛶 You row my boat, gently down the stream
- 🛢️ Our love is oily—slippery and smooth
- 🧊 Cold jokes, warm hearts
- 🚦 Are you a red light? Because you’ve stopped me in my tracks
Dirty Valentines Day Joke
- 🍑 Are you a peach? Because I want a bite
- 🍆 Are you a vegetable? Because I feel something growing
- 🍒 You pop my heart like cherries
- 🍌 Want to peel into something more comfortable?
- 🛁 How about a bubble bath for two?
- 🍓 Let’s get berry close tonight
- 🧁 Wanna frost my cupcake?
- 🛏️ My bed misses you—let’s fix that
- 🧈 Things are about to get buttery smooth
- 🔥 Let’s turn up the heat—no thermostat required
- 🧲 Your body’s magnetic, and I’m stuck
- 🧯 You might need a fire extinguisher for what I’m thinking
- 🍯 Let’s get sticky like honey on toast
- 🕯️ I’ve got candles and one intention
- 🧻 You’ll need a clean sheet… maybe more than one
Conclusion
Whether you’re sharing a chuckle with your kids or sending a steamy text to your Valentine, humor adds heart to any moment.
From wholesome puns to the naughtier side of love, these Valentines Day jokes ensure your February 14th is filled with giggles and grins.
Pick your favorite and spread the love—with a side of laughter.
