When it comes to weather jokes, I know you’re here to brighten even the cloudiest day with a little laughter.
Whether you’re a dad joke collector, a meme lover, or someone who just wants to lighten the mood, you’re in the perfect place.
These jokes are as fresh as today’s forecast and guaranteed to make you smile—rain or shine. From sunny puns to stormy laughs, I’ve got the humor you’ll want to share.
So grab your umbrella of giggles and let’s make it rain laughs together! ☀️🌧️😂
Cold Weather Jokes ❄️
- I told my thermostat a joke… now it’s giving me the cold shoulder 😂
- You know it’s cold when your coffee needs a jacket ☕🧥
- I tried to grab the fog, but I mist… and now I’m freezing! 🌫️🥶
- Snowmen get their chill by hanging out with cool friends ⛄😎
- My blanket and I are in a committed relationship this winter ❤️❄️
- It’s so cold, even my thoughts are shivering 💭🥶
- Ice to meet you! Hope you don’t melt under pressure 😉❄️
- I wanted to tell a winter joke, but it slipped my mind… like black ice! 😅🧊
- My phone froze — guess it caught a cold 📱🤧
- You know it’s freezing when your tears turn into ice cubes 🧊😭
- Winter’s favorite kind of music? Chill-hop 🎶❄️
- It’s so cold, I saw a polar bear wearing earmuffs 🐻❄️🧤
- I love cold weather — it’s snow joke! 😜⛄
- My hands are so cold, they’re typing icicles! 🧊💻
- Snow happens, just chill about it 😎❄️
Hot Weather Jokes ☀️
- It’s so hot even my sunscreen needs sunscreen! 🧴🔥
- I’m not sweating — I’m just sparkling aggressively 💦✨
- The sidewalk called; it wants its frying pan back 🍳🌇
- I told the sun to chill, but it threw shade instead 😎☀️
- Heat waves? More like meet waves at the beach! 🌊🌞
- It’s so hot, my shadow just quit 🕶️🔥
- I’m in a long-distance relationship with air conditioning 💨❤️
- You know it’s summer when your flip-flops melt 😅👡
- The sun and I are in a heated argument 🌞😡
- My ice cream didn’t even make it out of the store 🍦😭
- It’s so hot, my sweat has sweat 💦💦
- Too hot to handle, too humid to care 🥵🌴
- Heat makes me glow… okay fine, it makes me drip 💧😅
- I’d go outside, but I’m not fully cooked yet 🔥🍗
- If you can’t stand the heat, grab a popsicle 🍧😉
Weather Jokes for Kids 🌈
- Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter! 😄☀️
- What did one lightning bolt say to the other? You’re shocking! ⚡😂
- What’s a tornado’s favorite game? Twister! 🌪️🎯
- Why did the cloud stay home? It was feeling under the weather ☁️🤒
- What does the snowman call his pet dog? Frost! 🐶❄️
- How does the sun cut his hair? Eclipse it! 🌞✂️
- What’s a rain cloud’s favorite drink? Water, of course! 💧🥤
- Why don’t mountains get cold? They wear snow caps! 🏔️🧢
- What did one raindrop say to the other? Two’s company, three’s a cloud ☔👯
- Why did the fog go to therapy? It couldn’t see clearly 😅🌫️
- What’s a wind’s favorite color? Blow! 💨🎨
- What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror! 🌧️😱
- Why did the rainbow go to the party? It wanted to brighten things up 🌈🎉
- What did the hurricane say to the island? I’ve got my eye on you 👁️🌪️
- Why don’t snowmen like summer? It’s a total melt-down! 🫠❄️
Dirty Hot Weather Jokes 🔥😉
- It’s so hot, even my thoughts are getting steamy 😏☀️
- The sun’s out, and so are the buns 🍑☀️
- This heat’s making me sweat in places I didn’t know could sweat 🥵😂
- It’s so hot, I could cook up some trouble 😉🔥
- If you were the sun, I’d never need SPF 💋🌞
- My tan lines are getting flirtier by the minute 😜🌴
- It’s not just the weather that’s heating up 😏☀️
- You’re hotter than a July afternoon on asphalt 😎🔥
- Let’s make our own heatwave 🔥❤️
- You make my ice cubes melt instantly 🧊🥰
- If hotness were a temperature, you’d be breaking thermometers 😏🌡️
- It’s getting hot in here, and not just because of the sun 😉🌞
- The forecast says 100% chance of getting sweaty together 🥵💦
- Forget the weather — you’re my favorite kind of hot 😍🔥
- This heat’s nothing compared to you 😘☀️
Humor Cold Weather Jokes 🧊😂
- Cold weather brings people together — mostly because of body heat 😂❄️
- My heater ghosted me… it’s giving me the cold shoulder 💔🥶
- Winter called — it wants its chill back 😅❄️
- The snow’s falling faster than my motivation ⛄💤
- It’s so cold, even my sarcasm froze 🙃🧊
- My favorite winter sport is staying indoors 🏠😜
- I asked my blanket if it wanted to go out — it said “nah, I’m covered” 😂🛏️
- I’d make a winter pun, but it’s snow problem 😎❄️
- My attitude in winter? Ice cold and proud 💁♀️❄️
- I saw my breath — it’s the only thing leaving my body lately 😂💨
- This cold makes me wish I was a penguin 🐧🥶
- I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode for winter 😴❄️
- I tried to catch some snowflakes… they flaked on me 😂🌨️
- Winter’s the only time when doing nothing feels productive ☕🛋️
- It’s not cold — it’s “chill with style” weather 😎🧣
Funny Weather Jokes 🌦️😂
- The forecast said cloudy with a chance of memes ☁️🤣
- Weather reporters have the best job — they’re wrong 50% of the time! 📺😂
- What did one hurricane say to another? Stop blowing things out of proportion 🌪️😆
- Why was the thunder always in trouble? It had a shocking attitude ⚡😜
- I told my umbrella a joke — it went over its head ☔😅
- The weather app says “sunny,” but my window says “liar” 🌤️🤨
- Why did the rain drop out of school? It couldn’t concentrate ☔🤓
- If sarcasm were weather, I’d be a full-blown storm 🌪️😂
- What’s a tornado’s favorite sport? Spin class 😆💨
- Don’t blame the weather — you can’t rain on my parade 🌈🎉
- Every time I wash my car, the sky starts crying 😭🚗🌧️
- My mood forecast: partly cloudy with 100% chance of laziness 😴🌤️
- What’s worse than bad weather? A bad hair day after it! 💇♀️☔
- The wind stole my hat — talk about a blowout! 💨🎩
- I’m not moody — it’s just atmospheric pressure 😜🌦️
Weather Jokes for Adults 🌧️😏
- The weather’s unpredictable — just like my weekend plans 😅🍹
- I like my forecasts like my coffee — hot and strong ☕🔥
- There’s a storm brewing, and it’s called Monday ☁️💼
- I’d flirt, but I’m snowed under with work ❄️😂
- You’re my favorite kind of thunder — loud and exciting ⚡😉
- The humidity’s high, and so am I… on energy drinks 😂☕
- I need a weather forecast for my emotions 🌧️❤️
- It’s raining responsibility — I forgot my umbrella ☔😜
- My love life is like the weather — mostly cloudy with rare sunshine 🌤️💔
- The temperature’s dropping, but my standards aren’t 🥶😎
- There’s a 100% chance of Netflix and chill tonight 🍿☁️
- You make my atmosphere electric ⚡❤️
- I’d say I’m breezy, but I’m actually a full gust of chaos 🌪️😂
- The rain’s romantic until you realize your socks are soaked 😩🧦
- My forecast? Mostly tired with a chance of sarcasm 😴🌦️
Cold Weather Jokes for Kids ⛄🧒
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes! 🥣❄️
- Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites! 🐶😂
- How do you scare a snowman? Get a hair dryer! 💨😆
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite! 🧛❄️
- What did the big snowflake say to the small one? You’re so cool! 😎❄️
- Why did the snowman refuse dessert? He was already stuffed! 🍰☃️
- How does a snowman travel? By icicle! 🚲🧊
- Why did the snowman look sad? He had the blues! 🎶⛄
- What’s a snowman’s favorite subject? Chill-ometry! 📚😂
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! 💪☃️
- How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you! 🧊😊
- Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming 😂❄️
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite again! 😂🐶
- What’s a snowman’s favorite food? Brrrr-itos! 🌯❄️
- Why don’t snowmen like warm weather? It’s a total melt-down! 🫠☃️
Cold Weather Jokes for Adults 🥶😉
- It’s so cold, my Wi-Fi froze mid-scroll 📶❄️
- The only ice I like in winter is in my drink 🍸🧊
- This weather’s so cold it’s ruining my hot girl era 😂❄️
- Winter’s the season where fashion meets frostbite 👗🥶
- I told my ex to chill — nature took it literally ❄️😏
- I’m single because no one wants to share the blanket 😅🛌
- It’s cuffing season, and I’m still uncuffed 🔗🥶
- My dating life’s colder than this weather 💔❄️
- I’m in a committed relationship with my heater 🔥❤️
- When the temperature drops, so does my motivation 📉😂
- Ice baths are trendy, but I’m living in one 🧊🛁
- I tried to flirt, but my lips froze mid-sentence 🥶😘
- My love life this winter? Snow signs of improvement 😂❄️
- I’m not cold — I’m emotionally winterized 😎🧥
- Let’s warm up with some hot cocoa… or each other 😉☕
Conclusion ☀️❄️
Whether it’s snowing, raining, or blazing hot, laughter never goes out of season!
These weather jokes are the perfect way to brighten any day — for kids, adults, and everyone who’s ever complained about the forecast.
Keep your spirits sunny and your sense of humor on cloud nine! 🌤️😄
